Time For Some Change

For awhile now (months and months) we’ve been planning our vacation. To that end, we’ve been saving up in our own special way. What seems to work for us is that every time we need to purchase something, we use bills and not change. The change ends up in a jar, and by the time vacation comes around we have some significant spending money. We leave tomorrow, so today we need to cash in all that change.

Now, we know that some places charge to count your change, and while I am not a skinflint, I am morally opposed for someone charging me to take my money and turn it into my money. I have a similar feeling for those green change machines you see at the supermarket. And since I’m not opposed to rolling my own rolls of change, we decided to see how to go about cashing them in. First step: call the bank.

Knowing that we have a better chance at a bank where we have an account, we called them first. We have a branch of this bank within a 5 minute walk of our house, so Chris called there. They said they didn’t have a change machine, but the branch in Wayne does. Fine, we’ll call there.

Except that we can’t. The phone book didn’t list a number for the Wayne branch, it only listed a nationwide toll-free 800 number. So Chris calls that…..and someone in India picks up. That’s right, my bank’s information line has been outsourced.

Now, I only hear my wife’s half of the conversation, but it was pretty easy to put the rest of it together. See if you can do the same. (Sorta like Mad Libs, only crazier and true.)

Chris: I want to cash in some change for bills and wanted to get in touch with the Wayne branch to see if I can come in anytime to do that.

Pause.

Chris: About $200.

Pause.

Chris: Quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies.

(At this point I started taking great interest.)

Pause.

Chris: Christine (spells last name).

Pause.

I have a few questions for Chris, such as a) why does the amount matter? b) why does her name matter? and c) what types of coins did the bank expect us to be cashing in? But at this point Chris has put her hand over the phone to explain to me what’s happening. It seems the operator in India is calling the Wayne branch of our bank, the people we wanted to talk to in the first place, to get the answer to our question.

One more time. We had to call India so they could call Wayne, a town a mere 6 miles away, to get the answer to a question we wanted to pose to the folks in Wayne in the first place.

This is the reason that banks charge you to use ATMs. They probably have people come all the way from India to refill them.

So, a moment later my wife says “Thank you very much” and hangs up. It seems we can just bring in the loose change, anytime, and have it counted, for free. Just the way it ought to be in the first place.